


The Course of a Lifetime Runs Over and Over Again

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Meant to Be [12]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam never let the unfair shakes life dealt him turn him away from his faith or his purpose.  It was impossible not to love and respect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Course of a Lifetime Runs Over and Over Again

“Baby, I'm home!”

“Hey there.”

Jessie came out of the dining room as Sam was hanging his damp jacket in the closet behind the front door. He closed the closet and wrapped his arms around her.

“Mmm, it feels so good to have you in my arms again.” he whispered.

“It feels good to be in your arms.”

He gave her two quick kisses on the lips before deepening it. Jessie sighed, tightening her arms around him. Sam’s hands slipped down from her waist into the back pockets of her Levi’s. He didn’t want to stop kissing her and that seemed just fine with his wife.

When the time came for breathing, Sam pulled away only for a moment. He inhaled deeply through his nose and went right back to what he was doing. Jessie ran her fingers through his hair, damp from the night’s rain. She was enjoying trying to get the upper hand on the kiss.

“Oh my God, that was amazing.” Sam held her close, breathless.

“Yeah, it was. We should probably do that more often.”

Sam laughed. That was pretty much their nightly ritual, not that he found reason to object to more sweet kisses from his Jessie.

“I missed you today.” Sam kissed her nose.

“I missed you too, Sam. Was work alright?”

“It was routine, which is always better than insane. There was a brouhaha over at the middle school; someone pulled a few fire alarms. I think I need more kisses, Mrs. Kassmeyer.”

Jessie grinned, surrendering to him. Sam’s kisses always made her weak in the knees. Tonight was no different. In the early days of their marriage, he would’ve taken her right where they stood. He might still do that tonight…a little surprise was always good to keep the relationship fresh. After more passionate kisses, he held her close.

“I got fourteen strikes tonight in three games.” Sam said.

“That’s awesome. Did you win?”

“No, Paul did. But overall I have more points going into league play. We think…do you really want to hear this?”

“Of course I do.” Jessie kissed him again. She took his hand and they walked into the dining room.

“Why don’t you tell me what you were up to this evening, baby? What's with all the boxes?”

“Well I've been thinking lately about the major renovations we’re about to do on the house. As much as I love this place, it’s a bit cluttered. I decided to start looking into what everything was. That way we would know what to keep and what to get rid of. I went into the back room, grabbed three boxes, and got started.”

“I could’ve helped.” Sam replied. “You shouldn’t be…”

“I can lift boxes, Sam. I'm stronger than I look.”

Jessie made a muscle and he smiled. She turned, grabbed something, and turned back.

“Who's this little guy?” she asked.

“Oh my God,” Sam gasped, taking the bear. “Oh my God, it’s Buford.”

“His name is Buford?”

“I never thought I would see him again. Oh Buford.” He hugged the bear, deeply inhaling. “He still smells like her…I can't believe it. Maybe it’s just my imagination but I swear that he does.”

“Who does he smell like?” Jessie asked.

Sam looked at his wife, tears pricking his eyes. He wasn’t a crying man. He was emotional but it wasn’t often he was reduced to tears. His father always told him that it was alright, that being able to express yourself made you stronger than holding back ever could. Still, he always held back unless it was absolutely necessary. In this moment, it couldn’t have been more so.

“My mother.” tears fell down his cheeks. “He smells faintly of my mother.”

“Tell me about him.”

“He was my best friend when I was a little boy. My father told me that he was a gift from my mother for my first Christmas. I didn’t even remember he was dressed like a policeman. I haven’t seen him in thirty years. When I was six years old, Hotch came over for his first sleepover. I didn't want him thinking I was a sissy who slept with a teddy bear so I gave Buford to my mother for safe keeping.

“She promised to put him somewhere safe where I’d always be able to find him. Seven months later she was dead. I looked all over for Buford, night and day. I prayed at night for God to tell me where he was. I couldn’t rest until I found him.

“Eventually I had to give up. I think I remember my father telling me that maybe mama took him to heaven so she would always have a piece of me with her. He started buying me comic books after that. It was to distract me from the painful loss of my mother and her most beloved gift to me. Plus, when Sean was an infant he needed more attention than I did.

“Everything was difficult for my father to juggle in the beginning. I knew I had to be really good because he was already under enough stress. I threw myself into all those activities and tried to forget about mama, Buford, all of it. I can't believe I'm holding him right now.” Sam wiped away his tears.

“He was right on top of the box when I opened it.” Jessie said.

She was trying not to cry herself after hearing that story. She and her mother didn’t have much in common, rarely saw eye to eye, but the idea of losing her so young was heartbreaking. She could still remember all the pain and confusion when Desi’s dad was killed. A child should never have to go through that. Sam never let the unfair shakes life dealt him turn him away from his faith or his purpose. It was impossible not to love and respect him.

“There are other things in here from your childhood, Sam. Some books, clothes, and mementoes. Your mother was very careful with them…they were all wrapped in linen. I'm surprised your dad didn’t go through them at one point but I guess it was too painful.”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, still clutching Buford. “It was hard to get him to really open up about my mother until I was a grown man. When I was little he would only say things here and there. He didn’t want to talk about it too much because he never stopped grieving her. Plus Sean had no real idea who she was and he didn’t ever want him to feel as if he wasn’t complete because of that. I never wanted to hurt him so I rarely asked for more. But this…I know I’ll never have her back but I feel some of that connection again.”

Sam held Buford and Jessie held on to Sam. They just stood in the middle of the dining room floor holding each other. Sam exhaled as he ran his fingers through her blonde curls.

“I'm the luckiest man in the whole wide world. I don’t often forget that but its good to say it aloud sometimes.”

She smiled, caressing his face and kissing him. Jessie was hardly able to pull away; Sam pressed his forehead on hers.

“I know people shake their heads a lot. Some of them even laugh at me.” He said.

“What do you mean?” she pressed sweet kisses on his lips.

“I'm a sentimental fool.”

“I love that about you. I love that you're a sweet, romantic, God-fearing, strong, and sensitive man. I love that being in your arms makes me feel safe but also desired. I love your connection to friends, family, and this town. You can be a sentimental fool all day, Sam Kassmeyer. It'll only make me love you more.”

“See, I told you that I was lucky. I've only truly loved three women. The one who birthed me, the one I loved as a boy, and the one I’ll grow old with. It seems so appropriate that you found this piece of my heart after all these years.”

“Let’s put Buford back where he belongs.” Jessie replied. “We’ll put him on our bed.”

“I don't know about that, baby.” Sam smiled, stealing another kiss. “He’s just a little guy. I know he only has one eye now but I still don’t want him to see what we do in our bed.”

“OK.” She giggled. “We’ll put him on our loveseat then.”

“Perfect.” He kissed her. “What else did you find while you were cleaning?”

“There were lots of wonderful things. I think I want to spend the whole weekend exploring. Surely they’ll mean more to you than to me right now though. Why don’t you look through them for a little while? Its getting late and I want to take a hot shower before bed.”

“I'm not sure I'm ready to let you go yet, Mrs. Kassmeyer.”

“We’ll be back together in no time, and there will be a lot less clothing between us.”

“Promise me.” Sam kissed her nose.

“Cross my heart. Oh and there's some Oreo cookie pie in the kitchen. I had some fun in the diner this afternoon.”

“Mmm, that sounds like the only thing that could distract me from thinking about you all alone in the shower. Still, that'll only last a little while.”

“Have two slices then.” Jessie kissed him once more before slipping out of his arms. She went into the living room and then up the stairs.

Sam smiled, again holding Buford to his nose. Yes, he smelled slightly like dust and age. But he also now had the distinct smell of his mother’s and wife’s perfumes. It wasn’t often that he could describe anything as perfect but that scent was perfect.

“Welcome home, old friend.” He put the bear on the dining room table and went to the kitchen to cut a healthy slice of Oreo cookie pie.

***

  



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